i have decided, after much deliberation and some excessive justification that bordered on an junkie begging for one more fix, to stop smoking pot for a week. today is day one.
let me explain a few things, just so we're all on the same page here. i love marijuana. it's awesome. it makes me laugh, makes shitty movies amusing, makes me eat when i have no appetite (something i have relied on to keep my weight above 100lbs.), makes me sleep better, makes me easier to deal with because i'm amused, taps a creative side, allows me to live with Roommate C without hovering over him in the night wondering if i could smother him, lets me have incredible long ranting conversations that end in nearly-painful laughter. etc. etc. etc.
but i've been smoking pot almost every day for the last four years. i've got a constant problem with grogginess and being tired. i'm out of it a lot. i eat fucking junk food. i'm lazy and unmotivated to begin with and this isn't helping. and so, in the spirit of 2007's ephiphanies and relevations, i'm gonna give myself a break for a week.
just to see what happens. maybe nothing. maybe i'll get a lot of shit done. maybe i'll write more. maybe i'm gonna be the crankiest bitch ever and all my friends will protest my non-pot smoking policies with signs outside my window. but i've come to the recent conclusion that, even though i am a creature of habit, it is well past time to enact some change in my life. too much of my time is just .... up in smoke (in both senses of the phrase). too much of my time is spent doing things that meet other peoples needs, too much is spent shuttling my bones from one fucking box called home to a box on wheels (bus) to the box that allows me to pay for the first box (work). and it's too routine and boring and lame and i feel like a fucking yuppie burnout who works a job she hates, comes home, drinks to oblivion, kicks the dog, and goes to bed to start the whole damn thing over again.
so. this year is different. this year is about doing different things, breaking routines and habits, and examining what i really need and what i need to do to get those things. henceforth, let's take a break from the bud.
and i'm not saying that when i crawled out of bed this morning at 7:30am with a mild-zeitgeist induced headache that i wasn't tempted to smoke a little, just to get rid of the hangover. but i didn't. we'll see how the rest of the week goes. i used to have tremendous willpower, and i'm not too worried. Roommate C has decided to join me on this venture, which should make it easier. i just want to see what happens really, and this fits right in with my whole habit-breaking, doing-things-for-me master plan.
however, i'm fully anticipating the boyfriend saying something. and i really don't want to hear about it from him. we've been having some heavy discussions lately about drugs (more on that at a later date). and i certainly don't want him to think that i'm doing this for him or because of him. he's been giving me shit, and making snarky comments about my hashy habit for a while and i don't fucking appreciate it. hmmm... but that's a whole conversation i should probably be having with him, instead of blogging about so we'll leave that one alone just for now.
developments will be forthcoming.
let me explain a few things, just so we're all on the same page here. i love marijuana. it's awesome. it makes me laugh, makes shitty movies amusing, makes me eat when i have no appetite (something i have relied on to keep my weight above 100lbs.), makes me sleep better, makes me easier to deal with because i'm amused, taps a creative side, allows me to live with Roommate C without hovering over him in the night wondering if i could smother him, lets me have incredible long ranting conversations that end in nearly-painful laughter. etc. etc. etc.
but i've been smoking pot almost every day for the last four years. i've got a constant problem with grogginess and being tired. i'm out of it a lot. i eat fucking junk food. i'm lazy and unmotivated to begin with and this isn't helping. and so, in the spirit of 2007's ephiphanies and relevations, i'm gonna give myself a break for a week.
just to see what happens. maybe nothing. maybe i'll get a lot of shit done. maybe i'll write more. maybe i'm gonna be the crankiest bitch ever and all my friends will protest my non-pot smoking policies with signs outside my window. but i've come to the recent conclusion that, even though i am a creature of habit, it is well past time to enact some change in my life. too much of my time is just .... up in smoke (in both senses of the phrase). too much of my time is spent doing things that meet other peoples needs, too much is spent shuttling my bones from one fucking box called home to a box on wheels (bus) to the box that allows me to pay for the first box (work). and it's too routine and boring and lame and i feel like a fucking yuppie burnout who works a job she hates, comes home, drinks to oblivion, kicks the dog, and goes to bed to start the whole damn thing over again.
so. this year is different. this year is about doing different things, breaking routines and habits, and examining what i really need and what i need to do to get those things. henceforth, let's take a break from the bud.
and i'm not saying that when i crawled out of bed this morning at 7:30am with a mild-zeitgeist induced headache that i wasn't tempted to smoke a little, just to get rid of the hangover. but i didn't. we'll see how the rest of the week goes. i used to have tremendous willpower, and i'm not too worried. Roommate C has decided to join me on this venture, which should make it easier. i just want to see what happens really, and this fits right in with my whole habit-breaking, doing-things-for-me master plan.
however, i'm fully anticipating the boyfriend saying something. and i really don't want to hear about it from him. we've been having some heavy discussions lately about drugs (more on that at a later date). and i certainly don't want him to think that i'm doing this for him or because of him. he's been giving me shit, and making snarky comments about my hashy habit for a while and i don't fucking appreciate it. hmmm... but that's a whole conversation i should probably be having with him, instead of blogging about so we'll leave that one alone just for now.
developments will be forthcoming.
posted by DameRight at 11:38 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home